Hi, my name is Precious. I have been struggling with sexual addiction for a long time now. My addiction has improved the last few months, and I got control for it through an unlikely source; male escorts.
I thank my friends who have been with me throughout my difficulty especially Ann. I always recall her telling me that people face one kind of addiction or the other and that mine was nothing too big to be worried about. I knew she meant well and wanted me to feel better, but the problem with her method was that it was more of a placebo. Instead of trying to root out the problem, her method meant accepting it and living with it. That was not what I wanted for myself.
I had this crazy addiction that whenever I was around any guy, I just want to have sex with him. This addiction began to show up when I was 19. I think it is one of those sorts of addiction which sprung from another addiction. I was also addicted to pornography. So, I guess that led to the more dire addiction to having sex with men.
At first, I did not see any problem with it. It was actually fun, I mean the feeling of wetness I get when I am around men and actually getting satisfied made my day. The problem began when I was 23 and wanted to have a steady relationship that would likely lead to marriage.
I had a boyfriend who I really loved – and the way he treated me, I was sure he loved me too. The problem was that he had a lot of cute male friends. I get weak to my knees whenever they come around. My privy gets so wet that it drips and soaks my pants.
Then, whenever he was not around, and a friend came to check on him, I would seduce him and have sex with him. I felt guilty afterwards, but I couldn’t stop myself from doing it. I was so helpless. It happened repeatedly, and a few of his friends might have noticed my weakness and began to come when they were certain he would not be around.
Each time the incident happened, I would weep and pray that he never find out. He did find out one day. In fact, he accidentally came home on one of the days and caught me on the act – not as he acted on hearsay. I could see the rage in his eyes. Every trace of love he had for me vaporised as he threw me out of the house.
I didn’t blame his actions because any other guy would have done the same. I think if it were some guys who monitor their girlfriends like criminals on parole, they would have done it earlier. I left my boyfriend’s house with a resolve to get a solution for myself. I moved in with Ann. It was through her that I first came in contact with male escorts.
The first set of male escorts that gave me company were hired by Ann. She was like, “Babe; you can’t remain like this. You need to get back your life.”
Ann was the kind of person that was ready to accept whatever life threw at her rather than let it weigh her down. Her greatest motivation has always been the desire to be happy. I want to add that she hired the male escorts without my consent.
When I met the first escort, he was super cute, and I struggled helplessly to hold back the sensation in my pants. Other times, the sensation came with longing and excitement but this time when it came, I was overwhelmed with guilt and the memories of the good times I spent with my ex came back playing like a reel before my eyes.
Tears began to roll uncontrollably. The escort was so compassionate. He held me in his arms and asked me what the problem was. I explained my odd addiction to him, and he promised to help. I was wondering how an escort would help my situation when what I really needed was a psychologist or medical personnel.
I was scared of seeking professional help because I didn’t want anyone to use me as an experimental mouse for some fancy diagnosis. The cute escort guy took me to a place where he introduced me to other cute male escorts.
I thought I was finished. My pant was literarily burning. I wanted to have sex with all of them except for the guilt holding me back. It took me a while to understand what he did. The more I was with male escorts, the more I learned to fight the sensation and develop self-control. The sensation still comes, but I am beginning to learn how to exercise restraint. It is only a matter of time, I know I will be fine.